Namely, you're welcome to an opinion on this issue but chances are good it's not going to line up with mine.  I can live with that.  I am also aware there are always exceptions.  The problem with exceptions is that THEY ARE NOT THE MAJORITY.  This entry is NOT about exceptions, this is about what I've seen and experienced personally and the conclusions I've drawn therefrom (and the sad reality is that my experience is based pretty much on the standard attitude that comes with a mindset that considers abortion an option they're in the situation and position to take.)

<lj-cut text="lengthy opinion inserted here">Abortion is not simply about choice.  There are a great many things in this world we all have the option to choose, that doesn't mean they aren't bad/wrong/poor choices.  Nor am I a big fan of the "it's my body and I can do whatever the hell I feel like with it" attitude so prevalent nowdays.  A smart person is already aware this is true but also realizes their choices influence everyone around them AND will consider how they are affecting those people so as to accomplish the most amount of good with the least amount of collateral damage. 

I do not have a problem with someone who's had an abortion and learned better from it.  People make mistakes.  There was a woman I worked with I greatly respected both before and after I learned she'd had one in the past. She learned from it, had several other kids, and was still guilting over that child.  (This was secondhand info from her daughter late at night working third shift.  Weird topics come up at 3am.)

I have large issues with people like my sister-in-law who see abortion as an easy way to get out of an inconvenient situation and see nothing wrong with offing several offspring before they're born.

No matter how you slice it, you are stealing more than just someone's life.  In my opinion, this is WORSE than murder - when you murder someone already born, you're only stealing their life.  They had some life, they've made some sort of place in the world and somebody somewhere is going to miss them and in the majority of cases, loved them.  They've made an imprint on the world, for better or worse.  In short, they've lived even if it was briefly.

Someone who's been aborted?  You've not only stolen their life, you've stolen every chance they had to affect the world.  You've stolen every memory they might have made.  You've stolen everyone else's chance to meet that person who might have been and maybe love them.  You've stolen their life AND the memory of them.  They not only didn't get a chance to live, they aren't even allowed the dignity of an existence.*

This is not a matter of logic, this is a matter to be thought over hard with the heart.  A woman choosing to abort is making a unilateral decision that is affecting every person in her life, regardless of whether she chooses to inform them of it.  She is taking something valuable away from the people who know and love her.  It takes two people to make a baby, in cases where the father does want the child she is forcing a decision on him with little to no regard for his feelings in the matter.  In case where the father is uninformed, she's stealing his chance to know his child.  (Yes, there are some exceptions, some people don't have someone who loves them and some guys are abusive jerks who shouldn't be brought into a matter like this.  Once again, EXCEPTIONS.  To be fair, there wouldn't be stereotype if there weren't a goodly portion of guys who push their s.o.'s to abort.  Then again, this wouldn't apply to them anyway so it's a moot point too.)

She is also stealing that child from their grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, and uncountable other lives he/she might have influenced.  That they'll never realize it was missing (barring she isn't stupid enough to leave the doctor's papers under the seat of a car sold to another family member) makes it more horrifying, not less.  Most humans are aware the world will/would have gone on without them if they hadn't been born.  That's not the point.  Consider where your life would be now if EVERY important person in it who influenced you to be who you are had NEVER existed.  I'm not just talking about family here - I'm talking influential teachers, best friends, co-workers who've inspired you to do better, anyone who's impacted you in a positive way and some not so positive ways that taught you what NOT to do.

Just because you can't miss what you never knew could've been doesn't make the loss nonexistent.  It's still there, it just doesn't hurt.  It becomes a matter of 'what if' to contemplate while philosophizing.  It only starts to hurt when you discover somebody really did take those chances away, in the case of my aborted niece/nephew.

Mind you, I don't like little kids/babies in general, for all I was one and nearly had one.  They're loud, obnoxious, and boisterous for the most part.  But those little kids/babies grow up into people and people will change/teach you, for good or ill.  Unless that chance has been taken away by someone who doesn't want to be inconvenienced with the expenses and responsibilities that come with getting yourself pregnant.

...

Dehumanizing a person who hasn't been born yet so you can mitigate the guilt you feel at killing them before you can get to know them takes the same kind of mindset that okays genocides.

Yes, I'm aware people don't like that comparison but seriously, what are the most common excuses used to justify genocides?

1.  The victims aren't "real" people/don't look like "real" people.
2.  They're parasites leeching (financial) resources from "real" people.
3.  They aren't "human" so they don't have "real" feelings.
4.  They represented a (potential) danger to "real" people.

I've heard every one of those excuses applied as "reasons" why abortion should be legal and/or why someone opted for one.  It's prettied up some but it's still the same.

Sorry guys, a shovel may not be a spade but they're similar enough that it doesn't make a difference.  I don't use this for particular emotional shock value, I've done a great deal of research into genocide with special attention paid to the Holocaust and Rwandan massacre because I am part of a minority religion Hitler and other nations at varying times have SPECIFICALLY targeted for extermination.  Jews weren't the only ones.  So while we're talking about what ifs, I am very aware there's a good chance I wouldn't be typing this now had I lived in other countries in other times and I've known this since I was old enough to read.  Our religion routinely posts life stories of members who have lived through those and similar events since in order to prepare us for what we might have to deal with in the future.  I have a very thorough understanding of what propaganda is, how it works, what it accomplishes and what happens when people start "disappearing" and no one speaks up for the voiceless. 

When I hear these same excuses used to justify any version of killing, I take three steps back and start distancing myself from those people trying to justify it.  As far as I'm concerned, abortion is just a new twist on an old mindset.  And you're going to have as much luck changing my mind as if you tried to tell me the Holocaust never happened.

This isn't about logic, it's about empathy.  If I don't want people taking my life away on their whim, I'm not going to support people intentionally doing it to others at any stage of life.

...

Once again, yes, people can make a mistake.  But it's a measure of how they deal with that mistake that shows the kind of person they are.  I am thoroughly anti-abortion, but sometimes a person makes a poor decision without realizing the consequences.  Crap happens.  It would happen less if abortion were harder to get, the emotional aftereffects were covered more in depth, and people would stop advertising it as a simple solution to a minor irritation and recognize it as the pogrom it is.

People who've used it multiple times have no sympathy from me.  Tho I admit this attitude is colored by that particular sister-in-law.  She was a bitch before I knew about that, she's still a bitch now.  She makes the lives of my brother and my niece hell and I cringe every time I have to go over there and listen to the way she talks to them.  Yeah, having an ocd** bitchmom is sucky for my niece but my neice isn't going to be stuck there forever.  She may have issues but at least she'll be given the chance to work through them - something her non-existing older siblings never got.  I'm a big fan of being allowed that chance since I like my life pretty well at this point in time despite my own abusive background.  It's easy enough for a person to end their life at any point in time if they're serious about it, getting it back once somebody else kills you is a little harder.

Yes, people in a high risk pregnancy are different.  And if abortion were only offered to those people you wouldn't be reading this.  Which life to save IS a personal decision they have to weigh out.  But most abortions don't happen for health reasons, they happen for financial, social, and cosmetic reasons which can all be summed up as personal convenience.  A life isn't being saved, somebody is being killed to make someone else's life easier.

Social - zomg i screwed up and i/my parents don't want to tell my parents/friends cuz i'm/they're scared/ashamed so i'll/they'll make it unhappen.

Financial - zomg i'm poor/in school still and i can't afford to pay for/fuck up the rest of my life with more responsibilities.  often used in the case of "fathers" who foresee paying out the nose for the next 18 yrs or by the parents of underage pregnant kids who feel they've already paid their dues and don't want the expense/irritation of another baby in the house.

Cosmetic - zomg, stretch marks!  i'll never be beautiful again!  no guy will ever want me, especially if i have a kid in tow that's not his.  my body is going to get UGLY! and FAT!  i'll be uncomfortable, it'll hurt.  won't be able to go partying or stay out all night cuz i'll have responsibilities!

I'm not denying most of them don't do a lot of soul searching or feel genuine pain at having to make a choice like this.  (I would like to think people like my sister-in-law are a minority.)  But do you really want your life balancing against somebody else's convenience and good judgment, particularly when being in this situation is a good indication their judgment is flawed to start with?  If not, you really shouldn't be arguing for allowing these people to decide for others.  It's called hypocrisy.


Abortions for actual health reasons make up a small percentage of abortion performed and if you make me choose between a few thousand women who will die without an abortion and billions more babies who will be worthlessly sacrificed for the sake of convenience...well, I'll be siding with the billions.  (No, I wouldn't be thinking differently if I were wearing those shoes.  I've already worn a pair similar in style and I took the chance.  He still died but I can live with having made the attempt.  Hanging my life on the line as well just ups the stakes, it doesn't change the game.)
 

Nor does brief overview even begin to cover the emotional shrapnel in cases where the abortion is common knowledge amidst family.  Survivor guilt - yes, I very much suspect this is one of those issues my niece IS going to come face to face with.  The day it comes to a head is a day I am going to be very, very glad not to be standing in my brother's shoes. 


...

On a side note:  The death of the partial birth abortionist doesn't faze me.  I don't condone violence or murder, particularly in church, but my empathy is for his family and the church members who had to witness it.  I have none for him.

*I'm not a fan of erasing people's entire existances.  It's too similar to what mass murderers are trying to accomplish when they target whole races.  Doing it on an individual level isn't better.

**The problem isn't the undiagnosed ocd.  You can have ocd and not be a bitch.  But if you're a bitch who has ocd it compounds the problem tenfold.  (Bitch being defined as a woman who is actually an insecure little girl attempting to control people with an iron fist, who uses her tongue to eviscerate those around her, has no sense of empathy for those close to her and takes delight in pointing out the worst in everyone in order to feel better about herself.  Yes, it's an insult to dogs everywhere and I probably shouldn't use it.  But it gets the point across...)</lj-cut>


...
For whatever reason, more than likely d/t my brother's laptop, lj is not cutting the entry.  I'll work on it but it may not be fixed until i get home.